How to deal with disrespectful dad? or am I just being whiny?

I think that you are a far better person than most for letting the comments go for this long. I would've been waaaaay ticked of way sooner. Just tell him that you don't appreciate his comments and that they are degrading and you would like for him to stop. Talk to you're mom (or anyone who might have influence on him, his mom?) about it and see what they can do to help. You are absolutely not being "whiney". It doesn't matter who it is, no one should be able to talk to you like that. Whether or not they're related.