My mouth gets me in trouble alot ( i think i have mental ilness)?

well first i m always depressed i get thoughts of suicide alot and well i am pretty much crazy i am lazy and well in the last year i havetn really been as active as i been before i used to beathletic now i am just plainly bored all the time and i dont do nothing but sit at the computer all day and well very often my mom wil say something like go clean your room or something and well dont want to but i will crack up laughing then she will slap my face and i will laugh more and well i usually am sad when i am supposed to laugh or something i think i have bipolar possibly schizophrenia ( my mom had schizophrenia)